Between the army of internet trolls and AI, it’s tough to tell what’s real and what’s not real on social media these days. So, it’s understandable that when I first heard this news report, I immediately blew it off as a phony.

But believe it or not, it’s legit.

On Tuesday, the Big 12 announced it has entered into a multi-year agreement that establishes Monster energy drink the “entitlement partner” of its football and basketball regular seasons.

If you’re not familiar with the jargon associated with corporate America’s intrusion into sports, it means that the Big 12 has sold the naming rights to regular season competition in its two highest profile sports – along with its soul – to a caffeine boosted beverage known to make people’s hearts explode when consumed in excess.

Not just the conference tournament. Or as a corporate “partner” with logos painted on the field and patches on jerseys. We’re talking about the whole shebang, here. From here into the foreseeable future, the conference will officially be known as the “Monster Big 12.”

According to the press release announcing the deal, this is a “first-of-its-kind partnership.” In reality, though, it’s just the natural progression of a trend that began with the PGA Tour in the late 1960s and filtered into college sports with the USF&G Sugar Bowl in 1986.

First the events. Then the stadiums, arenas and tournaments. Now the entire season. If history is any guide, it won’t be long before the “Monster Big 12” becomes simply the “Monster Conference,” since no one but the league itself and its official broadcast partners will bother to refer to it by its corporate moniker.

And the aesthetics aren’t even the worst part of the deal.

While it’s commendable that the conference has come up with a new and innovative revenue stream to help it from falling farther behind the SEC and Big Ten in the ever increasing college sports arms race, it fumbled away the opportunity by selling off its naming rights for literally pennies on the dollar.

Twenty million bucks might sound a lot to those of us living paycheck-to-pay check. But it’s next to nothing in an economy where billion dollar deals have become the norm. Divided among 16 teams, it comes out to approximately $1.25 million per school.

It’s a number that will seem even smaller once its rivals, especially the SEC and Big Ten, remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and strike their own naming rights deals worth much bigger windfalls now that the Big 12 has set the market.

Since it’s inevitable that everyone else is going to jump on the corporate bandwagon and bring in title sponsors of their own, who might the ACC approach? And no, we’re not talking about legitimate candidates such Truist, Dr. Pepper or Geico.

That’s no fun.

So instead, let’s take a lighter look at potential title sponsors who might be a good fit for the ACC either geographically or philosophically:

Bojangles: This one is obvious. The fried chicken chain was founded in Charlotte, the conference’s new home, and has become such an integral part of the ACC’s identity that it gave away gift certificates to fans at its men’s basketball tournament in Brooklyn, even though the nearest Bojangles at the time was 130 miles away in Reading, Pa.
Waffle House: Not only is there a location (and sometimes two) off virtually every exit on virtually every Interstate that runs through the ACC’s traditional footprint, but now that the conference has added SMU, Cal and Stanford to its ranks, the conference has the map scattered, smothered and covered from coast-to-coast.
Buc-ees: What a great way to make the folks at SMU feel included. Besides, the Texas-sized gas station phenomenon has already crept into Florida, Georgia and South Carolina, with North Carolina soon to follow. The ACC could even call its weekly notes package “Beaver Nuggets” in honor of its corporate sugar daddy!
Family Dollar: Yeah, the stuff they sell is kind of bargain basement, but hey, compared to the SEC and Big Ten, it’s right on brand for the ACC, don’t you think?
Food Lion: Anyone who remembers the ACC in its glory days understands this one. If Tom Smith isn’t still alive to become the face of the conference (again), he’d definitely look down from above and smile over the renewed partnership.